i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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