how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
