I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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