I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
