so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You were trust falling into bushes
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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