We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
