Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
