I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize