my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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