the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
