There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
