with your own penis?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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