mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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