I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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