So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I want to be your penis for a week.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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