she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
