just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
