i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
