Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
