just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
