White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
