If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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