I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
