i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
