I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
