i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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