Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
