I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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