she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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