I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
