i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
