I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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