you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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