So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
