apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
