Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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