my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize