We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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