the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
