I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
