I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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