She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
