I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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