he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
