Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
