I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
