so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
