I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
