I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
