Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
