stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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