i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
