So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
