Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
