I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
