He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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