we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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