ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How does one acquire holy water?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I'm really busy with my period
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