Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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