Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
