Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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